When you write emotion in fiction, you can’t tell the readers how the character is feeling. Readers need to feel emotions. They need to go on a journey with your character. You need to immerse, literally soak, your readers in the experience without feeling spoon-feeding them what they should feel.
The Cardinal Rule
The cardinal rule to remember is this: when a character experiences an emotion, then the reader is off the hook. They don’t have to feel anything.
Here’s the key: the entire scene should contribute to the emotional atmosphere, not solely the character’s perspective. The main character doesn’t even have to acknowledge or recognize their own emotions. That job can be handed over to the reader.
The Problems with Explaining
We all fall into this trap. Saying that “sadness blossomed” or that “rage burned” through our character’s heart. Poetic yes. But it’s basically telling our readers what to think.
When you over-explain the emotions, this pushes the reader away. First, if everything is explicitly stated, it leaves the reader with no room to interpret or even contribute. You are spoon-feeding your readers like a toddler.
Second, layering on all those emotional words is equivalent to “purple prose.” It can overwhelm and suffocate the reader.
Emotional Landscape
We want to invite the reader into the emotional landscape of the story, where they can fill in the gaps. You might even use an object to serve as the focus for the emotions. Take this as an example:
Becky stood against the rough pebbled sand of the beach, her gaze fixed on the moonlit expanse of the sea. Maybe, just maybe, he was out there. Or maybe she should give up.
The tide retreated, leaving delicate trails of foam in the sand. Among the glistening remnants at the water’s edge lay a single, perfect shell, untouched by the waves. Becky approached, her hand reaching down, but hesitated. Could it ever work again?
The tide rushed in and buried the shell with sand.
This scene invites the reader to engage actively, filling in the emotional gaps while experiencing the character’s sentiment. By leaving space for interpretation, readers become emotionally invested in the character’s journey. They aren’t instructed on how to feel but rather undergo the emotions alongside the character, forging a deeper connection with the narrative.
Trust your readers to understand and feel the emotions without being led by the hand. By crafting evocative scenes and allowing space for interpretation, you empower your audience to emotionally invest in your characters’ experiences.
Tim Kane
